Recognizing Caregivers

I had just finished my second speech in as many states in as many days. My favorite kind of week.  I was talking to caregivers and signing books in the lobby when one of the program hosts approached the table and made the pronouncement, "oh my gosh, during your speech, it finally dawned on me that I'm a caregiver, too!"

I have to admit that at first this was a surprising announcement since her job entailed dealing with family caregivers on a daily basis. Intrigued, I asked her to elaborate.  It turns out that she spent the past five years helping her dad care for her stepmother who was living with a myriad of chronic illnesses.  She would take them to the grocery store and the doctors' offices, make midnight runs to the emergency room and stay on the phone trying to straighten out problems with the insurance company.  To top it all off, she would spend her 40 hour work week supporting families in the area going through the exact same challenges as her own family.

This shouldn't have been such a surprise, as I do know that self-identification is one of the primary barriers to being able to support family caregivers. In fact, at the Question and Answer session in our conference the day before, many of the questions being pondered by the professional caregivers had to do with their own family issues.

This realization also brings to light something I've been talking about for quite some time that these professionals who spend their days helping family caregivers, often leave work and step into their own role as family caregiver. And I truly believe that for these dedicated souls who give qualified and compassionate advice to other families while being able to maintain their professional detachment, the walls crumble quickly when they get their own phone calls in the middle of the night.  So, let's stop for a moment to celebrate those whose caring knows no bounds and remember that more often than not, the professional in the white coat is also probably worrying about his or her mom, too.